Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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