HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
