Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
