Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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