my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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