hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
