Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Small penises have feelings too.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
