Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
