none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
