Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
