nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
