Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
