Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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