I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
