he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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