we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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