my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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