is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
