Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
