I must be too annoying 4 u.
just tell him i said nine months
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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