But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
