It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm both gender and math confused
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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