i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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