U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
