I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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