i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize