Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
