You're my little dorito
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
