Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
