There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
