The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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