I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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