the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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