i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
