literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
