I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize