Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
