Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
