i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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