Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
