can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
