I'm drive I can fine osifer
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
