i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
