also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
