stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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