There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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