Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
