Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
