3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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