If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
