All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
