She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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